While things appear to be calm in Bangkok right now, the prolonged political turmoil in Thailand can be unsettling. The coup yesterday is likely to elicit a range of responses and emotions in children and adolescents, based on their previous experiences and the reactions of those around them. Some may be confused or fearful that they or their loved ones are at risk. Others may feel unaffected.
The following guidelines can help children understand what is happening factually, how events do or do not impact their lives, and how to cope with their reactions. Children will take their cues from you, especially young children. Parents should gauge their child’s need for information and reassurance and respond accordingly.
1. Be a good listener and observer. Let children guide you as to how concerned they are or how much information they need. If they are not anxious or focused on current events, don’t dwell on them. But be available to answer their questions to the best of your ability. Young children may not be able to express themselves verbally. Pay attention to changes in their behavior or social interactions. Most school age children and adolescents can discuss their concerns although they may need you to provide an “opening” to start a conversation. Don’t push, but ask what they think about current events. Even if they don’t want or need to talk now, they may later and they will know you care what they think and feel.
2. Acknowledge and normalize their feelings. Allow children to discuss their feelings and concerns and encourage any questions they may have regarding this event. Listen and empathize. An empathetic listener is very important. Let them know that others are feeling the same way and that their reactions are normal and expected.
3. Take care of your own needs. Take time for yourself and try to deal with your own reactions to the situation as fully as possible. You will be better able to help your children if you are coping well. If you are anxious or upset, your children are more likely to be so as well. Talk to other adults such as family, friends, faith leaders, or a counselor. It is important not to dwell on your fears by yourself. Sharing feelings with others often makes us feel more connected and secure. Take care of your physical health. Make time, however small, to do things you enjoy.
4. Turn off or monitor the TV and Internet. It is important to stay informed, but watching endless news programs or constantly checking Twitter or Facebook is likely to heighten your anxiety and that of your children. Young children in particular cannot distinguish between images on T.V. and their personal reality. Older children may stay informed, but be available to discuss what they see and help put it into perspective.
5. Discuss events in age-appropriate terms. Share information that is appropriate to their age and developmental level. Update them as information changes. Young children may require repeated reassurance that adults will always take care of them. School age children can understand details and reasons behind specific actions, such as increased security but cannot absorb intense or frightening information. Adolescents may want to discuss political as well as safety issues.
6. Stick to the facts. Answer children’s questions factually and include a positive element to answer, e.g., “Yes, there are soldiers on our streets, but they are there to protect us.” Don’t speculate about what could happen.
7. Remind children not to ridicule people or ideas just because they are different. The political tensions in Thailand are complicated. Children, particularly younger ones, will tend to view them in absolute terms, with good guys and bad guys. Reinforce that most people are good and ultimately care about the same things: safety, freedom and opportunity.
8. Help children explore and express their opinions respectfully. Explain that opinion is not the same as fact. Fact is what actually happens. Opinions are how we feel about what happens. Everyone has a right to their opinion and discussing different views can deepen children’s understanding of the world. Addressing the intolerance that leads to conflict and aggression can also help children regain a sense of control. Encourage children to state their beliefs with opening phrases like, “I believe or I think” instead of “It is” or “You should.”
9. Seek support from your counselors. If you remain worried or you find that you have heightened anxiety, please do reach out to your grade level counselor who can offer an appointment and provide support for you.
Grade 6 Counselor: Cynthia Nordmeyer (cynthian@isb.ac.th)
Grade 7 Counselor: Jackie Greenwood (jackieg@isb.ac.th)
Grade 8 Counselor: Ross Tague (rosst@isb.ac.th)
Adapted from the National Association of School Psychologistshttps://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis_safety/helpingchildrencope.aspx.